The Other Epidemic Killing Our Country

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On the eve of the most important election of my life, I realize there is far more wrong with the country than one person can fix.  I have never seen our nation more divided, so cut up.  It’s not just political party, it’s not just race, or class, mask versus no mask, shut it down versus open it up.  We are living in an “us against them” country. 

Too many people, maybe all of us, feel unheard, unseen, invisible.  We are polarized like magnets, pushing the other away before they can even get close. 

I was tempted to post something snarky, to post something that is clever and cutting.  However, I realize if I, we, continue to cut down others, how will we ever heal? 

We must respect each other even in disagreement.  Not agreeing with another’s idea doesn’t mean the other person is without value.

Unless we listen to each other, really listen, not just waiting for our turn to speak with our “Yeah, but…” at the ready, we are never going to heal this fractured home of ours. 

We must be willing to compromise because no matter who “wins” tomorrow, we will all lose unless we find some way to come together to move forward.  We are all part of the same body so when we cut each other, we all bleed. 

It’s not us against them, it’s just us. 

Independence Day

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Today we celebrate Independence Day, a day when we are reminded of the sacrifices made by many in order that we could be independent, to live freely without oppression. “United we stand, divided we fall” is a popular mantra. Sadly, we have never been more divided.

Somehow the wearing of masks to guard against the spread of COVID 19 has become politicized. There are those that argue requiring masks is an infringement on their personal freedoms. They state the infection rate is low, the fatality rate is low and that mandating mask-wearing is excessive. The same people argue that closing stores and businesses is crippling the economy, that the effect of these shutdowns will be more catastrophic than the effect of the virus itself.

Our sense of individual freedom is in direct competition with the common good. We once shared this commitment. In World War II when families would ration sugar and coffee, they did so for the greater good. It was an inconvenience but was necessary. To acquiesce and accept inconveniences is not to allow oppression but to sacrifice for the common good.

Regardless of whether the government permits businesses to open, many of us do not feel comfortable patronizing businesses let alone those that, directly or neglectfully, don’t require masks. Unlike wearing seat belts and motorcycle helmets where your actions impact you and not the rest of us, the opposite is true with wearing masks.

I have been to three stores in the past week where the employees were not wearing masks despite signs at the entrance warning that masks are required to enter. I observed individuals without masks, masks worn below their noses, and worn around their necks. Although I did not abort my shopping once I noticed these breaches, I am going to call and speak to someone expressing my concern. I will explain that if masks are not consistently required and enforced, then I will need to better consider where to spend my money.

Do we need to establish businesses that reinforce the mask requirement versus those that don’t? In this way, people can choose to support businesses that align with their individual beliefs. Another option would be to buy online and allow the mega corporations like Amazon to have our dollars but small businesses would die.

If half of us don’t support businesses and stay home, is half of the revenue enough to sustain the economy?

But that’s not the solution. Because if we begin having mask versus no-mask businesses and red versus blue states then how are we united?

Unless we can find a way to bridge the divide, establish some shared ideals, then regardless of which side is victorious in November, no one will win. One side will triumph, at least temporarily, while their brothers and sisters will be resentful for four years and plot revenge. It could be endless.

Maybe this is a test. That God or the universe is setting us up to survive but that can only happen if we look out for each other. My mask protects you. Your mask protects me. It’s like an escape room where the only way out is to work together. If the merit of a society can be evaluated by how it treats its weakest members, what does it say about us if we aren’t willing to be inconvenienced by a mask and social distancing? Jesus said, “That which you do for the least of your brethren, you do for me.” Are the medically compromised not the least of our brethren in this situation?

Part of the frustration is that we don’t have control over what happens so we try to control what little we believe we can.

When I am angry, and I am frequently angry, I feel like fighting with the non-mask wearers. I want to start swinging and kicking and spraying a water gun full of bleach that only shoots six feet at people encroaching my new six-feet norm of personal space. If I can punch you or kick you or hit you with a stream of bleach, then you are too close. Maybe even a flame-thrower that shoots exactly six feet. It’s really some fucked up Darwinism – your stupidity and selfishness can hurt me.

As we celebrate Independence Day, we should remember that independence does not mean to be independent of all others and only serving ones self but to understand we are dependent on each other for our very survival. Together we must live in the spirit of mutualism. Perhaps the better mantra is “All for one and one for all.”

Circle of Life

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This morning I freed a beetle from a spider web as the spider was devouring it. I cast the bug over the balcony rail into the gardens below but it will probably die as he is half-sucked dead and is partly covered in sticky web. The spider is pissed because I fucked up his breakfast. It just gets me that the creature is alive when being eaten. The same way it bothered me when the fox was chasing down the rabbit last week. I actually prayed the rabbit would get away.

“It’s the circle of life, Karen,” my friend Dan explained.

“I know but the rabbit will have its flesh rended from it alive,” I protest.

Tonight, in Cape Charles, we are going out for oysters. I will not be surprised if another diner doesn’t slap the oyster out of my hand as I prepare to gulp it down. Oh the humanity, other patrons will be thinking as they watch me slurp down the silently screaming mollusks.

Election Day 2016

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As I prepare to go out to vote for the next President of these great United States, I consider all of the issues that every other citizen is considering:  foreign policy, social programs, equality and civil rights, economics, etc.  And while all of these issues are important, I keep remembering a life lesson shared by my grandmother.  “Kindness,” she would say, “is the most important thing.”

I think about which candidate will demonstrate the most kindness.  Who is more likely to embrace the marginalized, to work for the disenfranchised?  Who will work for those of all backgrounds, all races and ethnicities, all religions, sexual preferences, gender identities?  Who will work to promote respect and equality for all people in the country?  Who sends a message that I want our children to believe in?  I want a president who conducts himself/herself with class and dignity, who does not unravel.

On occasion, I have felt like punching people or telling them to perform certain acts on themselves.  I have been angry.  It could be at my boss, it could be at my family, it could be at other drivers.  However, I don’t give in to the most base part of my character and indulge those temptations.  Obviously I don’t want to lose my job or get shot in traffic but I keep it together for a more important reason:  I want to believe I’m better than that.  I may picture myself saying or doing something and may even get some pleasure from that idea but I don’t do it.  If I did, what would my grandmother say?  What would the children I teach think?  What would that say about me?

I want a president who will model the very best of who we are.  I want more kindness.  In fact, I insist upon it.

How do you not like snow?

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I love snow.  I always have.  On an existential level, I think snow is the great equalizer.  It reminds me we are all in this together.  When I taught in a poor section of West Philly, I remember thinking about how the snow fell on all of us:  rich and poor, black and white, old and young, nuns and lay teachers.  It made me giddy.  It still does.  No matter how rich you are, you can’t stop the snow from falling.  You can’t control it.  No matter how poor you are, you get to experience the snow too.  As I await the current snow storm, and as a teacher I wait anxiously, I wonder about people  that don’t like snow.  I don’t get it.  Did they not have a childhood? 

Over the holiday my partner and I chased the snow from the mid-Atlantic region to Vermont.  Winters without snow are a rip-off.  Honestly I don’t believe I am 47 years old.  I don’t count the years that have had mild and disappointing winters.  If I subtract those seasons, I’m probably only 36. 

Two weeks ago we got snow.  I trudged through the snow into town flopping myself down and making snow angels.  Trying to be discreet, I only Nestea-plunged in areas less visible from the main road.  What would people think seeing an overweight, middle-aged woman collapsing into the snow? 

I took pictures of the ice that had formed on every little branch of the Forsythia bushes, of the sun peeking through the trees, of the tips of the willow trees dipping into the pond creating ice pendulums.

Snow reminds me to enjoy life.  It reminds me of who I am.  These moments don’t come often and disappear quickly.  Snow forces me to be present in the moment and live life.  I NEED to play in the snow.  So please, put down your cell phones.  This oompa loompa is rolling around eating snow on purpose.  Image