Notes to self on improving writing:
Write about something other than kittens and school
Accept the fact that my writing is dry (sarcastic at best ) while I continue to worship/faun over the flowery, waxy writing of others that effortlessly spills from their pages. and engulfs you at times suffocating you. Envy. Pen envy. Her pen is better than mine. Quicker, more adept at leaving beautiful, harmonized strokes on the page that leave you in a state of wonder. The sheer admiration, desire, jealously want rises up your throat like bile threatening to spew out while you choke it back with tears in your eyes. You are wracked with the want. It lives and breathes a life of its own within you and you suppress it for your glib, caustic remarks. You are consumed with the want to write something meaningful, something insightful and profound. Something that will connect all of us and help us make sense of this world.
Icanseealotoflifeinyou is destined to be the next Joyce Carol Oates. I will be lucky to publish a short story of snarky witticisms in a local podunk mag. Even if I could be the next David Sedaris or Augusten Burroughs, how does that contribute to the world? Didn’t one of them write about examining the heiroglyphics of shit in the toilet and the mysticism in it? Wasn’t one of them always using the alcoholism schtick? I could go on tour and do stand up and do whole act on how I can’t write so I’m in seedy bars searching for approval.
Well, I have spent half my life in seedy bars searching for approval. Might as well get some free beers for it.